Rain. Tean. Klimt. Pastry./Went to the Palace, Ended Up at the Zoo

Klaus Zynski Invades Europe, Part 10

Another one on the Phone. Fuck. I can't help it, I'm efficient this way. Vienna has proven so dense that I'm gonna break it down to individual attractions rather than days. Else I'd be writing novellas for each day.

We went to Gustav Klimt's atelier, or rather the large extravagant house, now a museum, which was built around the garden shed Klimt rented while painting his last masterpieces. We got off the train and immediately it started pouring rain. Lucky us. I'm grateful that I found a tea shop and parlor near the atelier. This was where I first experienced the remarkable hospitality of the Austrian people. This city, this country, obviously depend on tourism for revenue but they don't have that performative annoyance and disgust at tourists that the French (Parisians) are notorious for. Germans and their cultural cousins to the south tend to be a bit reserved in comparison to say Greeks or Italians, but the extent to which people of seemingly all people of these countries agree on a pretty universal level of accommodation for English speakers was noticed and very much appreciated by Liz and I. It doesn’t feel like anyone’s blowing smoke up your ass but they seem to want to make the experience of being a foreigner in their countries less alienating.

The apparent proprietor of Teenorissimo received us warmly and brought a pot of delicious sweet black tea. One thing I've noticed about this city is that all the cafe and bar owners carry on almost endless conversation with the locals who patronize their businesses. She spoke with an older gentleman downstairs who inquired where we'd come from, and remarked that we'd gone from capital to capital when he heard we'd traveled from Washington DC. I told him we were on something of a capital tour between Berlin, Budapest, Vienna, and, soon, Prague.

If only we'd spent a few more minutes in that lovely tea shop. We'd have beat the worst of the rain. I was impatient. We walked in the rain to Klimt's "villa" and the man at the desk gave us an explanation of the exhibit. We left our umbrella outside and no one touched it. Klimt's modest dwelling and massive profile made for a compelling exhibit.

I find it interesting 1.) How much of a fascination central Europe seems to have with East Asian art (Maria Theresa, Klimt, I'm sure I could find a 3rd) and 2.) how directly this country and its sibling, Germany, have been forced to confront the issue of ownership of great art. Klimt is Austria's most famous artist, but many of his greatest works were private commissions for rich Viennese Jews. Families who were driven from the country they'd helped enrich in the wake of Hitler's Anschluss of Austria into the greater Reich. These paintings by and large ended up in the possession of the Austrian state and were displayed in state museums in some cases into the early 00s. Surrendering these works to their rightful owners is a demonstration of humility by a nation which once dominated Catholic Europe with prestige and culture. It's the kind of thing that ought to be a model to other nations whose museum collections depend on colonial plunder. No man enlarges himself by taking from another, at least not permanently. The bill always comes due.

We found some lovely pastry out on the main strip before catching the tram to Schönbrunn palace for the first time, though not the last. I had a cinnamon roll with hazelnuts, ohmigod. There were pandas on the front page of the local free paper.

Went to the Palace, Ended Up at the Zoo

The first thing I pitched as a possible Viennese attraction which found any purchase with Liz was the Schonbrunn Zoo. I thought it sounded alright, oldest zoo in the world, on the former site of the Hapsburg Imperial Menagerie. No surprise Liz went for it. She loves animals. It went right into the itinerary and never left. Privately, I had reservations. We have the zoo at home! The Smithsonian Zoo, ya heard of it? It’s free and has pandas and is free! I’d feel a little ridiculous if we came across an ocean and half a continent to pay for something we get for free at home.

The line for tickets at Schonbrunn palace was ridiculous and the ticket tiers were confusing. The weather had cleared from the earlier rains and the student groups milling about were getting rowdy. Time in the sun would be at a premium. Call an audible, we went to the zoo.

The zoo also had a combo ticket deal! This, I would soon learn, is a Vienna thing. It’s part of the civic strategy to politely part fools from money. We had no earthly idea what the Palm House or the Desert House would be (though we could probably guess for the second one) but to hell with it. It’s not like we’ll be back. Fork over the dough, we’re on vacation.

We entered behind an Anglo-Indian family who notably stopped speaking English to each other as soon as they heard our accents. Right off the bat we saw a rhino, which the Smithsonian Zoo does not have. It would not be the last animal we saw that we could not see at home. They got a damn polar bear in Vienna! Send that thing up to Stockholm or something, it’s dying in this mild-ass spring weather. I kid, but also I don’t! Bro was looking listless! I don’t mean to imply negligence on the part of the staff. Zookeeping is hard work. I’m sure they do what they can. I just question the wisdom in acquiring it at all. Bad zoos bum me out! Schonbrunn isn’t one of those. It’s a beautiful property with a lot of fantastic exhibits. Nix the polar bear and we’re looking at a near perfect score.

It’s interesting that the best practices for this kind of thing change from country to country. European zoos are seemingly a lot more willing to mix populations of animals. They had the rhino in with some gazelles (here used as a general term for some form of African grazing animal, coulda been Impalas or something, I dunno). The Rhesus monkeys were in with a presumably terrified population of guinea pigs. There were supposed to be armadillos somewhere in the monkey house as well but I couldn’t find them for the life of me. Maybe this is how we resolve the question of how best to enrich the polar bear. Get him a lowland gorilla or something. Make it the “winner stays on” enclosure. Morbid, I know. I’m spitballing. Shout-outs to whoever had the idea of putting the dwarf desert mice in a little tank off to the side in the elephant house. That’s a real marketing brain move.

The highlight of the zoo at large was the high population of baby animals on display. Felt like a unique experience. Baby capybaras augmented an already adorable experience, if you ignore the poop (though I think this can be said about most zoos. The peak was a baby lemur. Shout out Zooboomafoo. This little man was mischievous! Bouncing around, trying to jump down to the floor of the enclosure, his mom came down to get him and he ran off to hide behind dad. Hilarious animals. I like watching primates. One gets a sense of how they inspire such a broad range of anthropomorphism. The Egyptians thought they were wise. The Chinese saw them as possessing an imperfect sort of enlightenment, with a certain animal charisma and impulsivity.

Koalas! They had koalas! I wish the Smithsonian had those. Lovely apiary (beehive) as well. Had a little vending machine where you could purchase honey goods and candies made by the hive on display. Bought some gummy bears. Reflected on the importance of exhibiting farm animals in places like this so city kids can have some sense of where their food comes from. Desert house was fun. Palm house was just a botanical garden. Calming after all the crowds and animal noises but a bit low-impact. Great zoo on the whole but no pandas (at time of visit) and so USA still numbah one baybeeeeeee. Also our aviary is better.