The Real Hungarian Railway Experience

Klaus Zynski Invades Europe, Part 9

Budapest-Nyugati Station, the one we arrived at but did not depart at. I didn’t take any pictures this day.

Writing on my phone feels dirty. Forgot my notebook here on my last night in Vienna and I'm running desperately behind on both the travel writing and the vacation drinking. Didn't wanna slink back to the Airbnb (which you will be hearing more about, stay tuned) for my notebook. Happy I stayed out. I've just had a shot of fernet and received a large mug of beer from the friendly, popular Frau who runs REINWEIN on the outskirts of Vienna's Rudolfsheim neighborhood. They're playing the Safety Dance right after they played Love Will Tear Us Apart. Things are good. This city is very good. There's framed pictures of Emperor Franz Joseph and Empress Elizabeth (Sissi) staring me down as I slouch at this Piano shaped corner table and tap on my phone. I can't escape this particular imperial couple wherever I go in this town. I suppose I'm ready to accept that they'll be staring at me everywhere I go. I think I'm ready to talk about the real Hungarian Railway Experience.

We had to leave Budapest from a different station than the one we arrived at. Nyugati, in the middle of downtown, would have been far more convenient but Kelenfoeld, in the suburbs, was the only place where trains to Vienna were departing. This meant I couldn't visit the nearby record store on the way out and dig crates. That's fine, honestly. Transporting LP's through two more long train rides and a transatlantic flight would be such an insane chore. But maybe I'll buy something if I find a suitable store in Prague just to assert my stubbornness. They gotta show me something good though. I passed on a cheap single of Boney M's "Rasputin" secondhand in Vienna just because I didn't feel like getting it back to the Airbnb.

We got breakfast at a local chain called BITE. They had two exhausted looking Asian women behind the counter seemingly running the whole store. They got me my bacon egg and cheese on a bagel and forgot my espresso for awhile. Had to go back for that later. They were busy. I don't hold it against them. A BEC in Hungary is odd. They soft-boil the eggs rather than scrambling them. Tasted fine. Maybe too much mayo. Felt bad for the employees and tipped them a 500 florint banknote. This was a mistake. We needed transit tickets. We were 15 florints short. I'm a dummy. A generous dummy.

So we have a lot of Hungarian coins, whatever, fun souvenir. We rode the tram and passed like 3 more record stores, taunting me, before we reached the subway. The Berlin Subway felt like it was flexing on me but the Hungarian subway was a little more like what I was accustomed to. Pretty similar to DC. We took seats on opposite benches and I- fuck Don't Stop Believing just came on and now I'm worried I'm gonna get shot. I'm watching for men in members' only jackets. I actually kinda prefer Faithfully as far as Journey goes. It's a better bad song.

Anyways I made eye contact with a pink haired Budapest punk and admired a child's Sonic the Hedgehog puffer vest. Honestly I want him to tell me where to cop that. I'm not posting it here. Get your pictures of Hungarian children elsewhere.

Bought pastries at Kelenfoeld and decamped to the platform as soon as it was listed. Once again I was self conscious about the volume of our luggage. We sat in a car full of tables. We found seats at adjacent tables. I had a father with a large conspicuous scab on his nose and a pair of preteen boys playing games on their phones. Fiancee drew a middle aged couple who put their nicotine pouches on the table before the train left the station and a guy with gelled blonde hair and a trimmed beard who looked like he played Counter Strike for a living. I started reading more of Valis and she started watching The Apothecary Diaries on Netflix. The heat got into both of us before long. MAV trains don't have fans or AC, and Hungary can get hot. Was low 70s Fahrenheit and very sunny. The ticket taker opened the windows before he even took tickets. I dunno how much it helped.

A friend of the blog and far more experienced European traveler informed us from her post as a schoolteacher in rural France that this was The Real Hungarian Railway Experience. She was once parked on a MAV train in the middle of Slovenia for 3 hours in 90 degree heat, owing to construction. We didn't get it that bad. There was maybe a 10 minute pause, but I was worried it would go longer. The Magyar steppe rolled out on all sides around us, green and flat and until you hit the alps in the distance. You do sort of get the idea how a pillaging horde, the Scourge of God, could pick here to settle down and give the whole agriculture thing a go. Summiting those peaks on horses would be a pain.

The Esports looking fellow dismounted and I joined my companion on the adjacent table. We crossed into Austria and immediately the energy shifted. The Hungarian ticket taker, bald and corpulent, was replaced with a skinny blonde Austrian who spoke very good English and re-checked our tickets. Then a quartet of Austrian cops walked down the train and the Hitler Particles in the car immediately jumped off the scale. I don't think they meant any harm. They didn't talk to us or anything. Frankly European cops are far less threatening than American cops because they're skinny. But they all dress like they're in RoboCop and so it balances out. Saw one in Dresden with a peaked cap and an assault carbine listening to a complaint in the train station and I could immediately picture him in a double breasted Wehrmacht trenchcoat and a stahlhelm, MP-40 slung over one shoulder, leather gloves, maybe a pipe inside his jacket. Not an officer but a non-com. A sergeant. Won his bars in Poland and Belgium. Not a Nazi party member but hey, Hitler got the economy moving again. Employed his pop and his older brothers. Running a tight ship on behalf of whatever political pet they have running the platoon. Smacking the privates around when they slack off, ach, Reisinger, you think ve vill beat ze tommies und ze yankees if you can't even keep your rifle clean, dumbkopf! I ought to have you beaten!

Anyway we got to Austria. No problem.